I know, right? It’s November and I’m talking lemons instead of turkeys. But that is the point, actually. I want us all to start thinking differently. Very differently.
Take the whole topic of Borderline Personality Disorder. Some would say it’s a disastrous fate I have suffered, having such a horrible disorder. I say, are you kidding? It changed my life when I got the diagnosis, and everything I went through is now used to help others. You could say it is a tragedy. But I say, it’s been a good thing, ultimately. I am grateful for all the friends I’ve met along the way, and also for my clients, who I couldn’t be prouder of.
I love those of you with Borderline or BPD traits. You are some of the most wonderful, big human beings I’ve ever met. I use the word “big” because you folks are bursting at the seams with goodness, intellect and creative ideas. Once all that creative power is unleashed and properly directed–look out!
Problem is, you may have spent a life time seeking others’ approval, direction and input and it has left you paralyzed, ineffective and, well, crazy.
The good news is all those years you’ve been miserable, you’ve built up a universe of desires and preferences that can be tapped into with a little work. There have been no mistakes. There is much to gain now by tapping into all the information stored inside you through your life experiences.
So…how do you tap into it?
If life affords you any down-time over the next couple of months, I have a simple exercise that could change your life. It will help you access that inner guidance system that’s more than likely not worked too well up to this point.
Here is what you do:
Get a notebook and decorate it in any fashion that makes you happy. Mine is lime-green with hand-painted daisies on it 
Now, every time you think of something that makes you unhappy–write it down in the left hand column of your notebook. For example, “I just hate it when people act in a condescending manner towards me.”
Then in the right hand column write down it’s opposite. For the example, you would now write, “I want to be surrounded by people who look up to me and treat me with respect.”
You see, every time you experienced something horrible, it created a new desire in you for something you really, really wanted.
After you’ve done this for a couple of weeks, tear that sheet in half and just keep the right hand side. Now instead of focusing on all the things that are missing in life (left side), you have a very clear picture of what you really desire (right side).
Get very creative now and post all those happy desires everywhere you can. Make neon Post-It notes, paint up canvases, write them on index cards–record them and play them on your mp3–wherever you want. And every time you are tempted to think a thought that makes you feel unhappy–look at those desires of yours. Over and over again.
Trust me on this: once you get very clear on what you want by tapping into what you know about yourself, then the steps to getting there are much easier.
Believe that your dreams will come true. End this year better than you started it. Now is the time to take all those lemons in your life and make lemonade out of them.
Have fun with it all!
With love and excitement for all that is to come to you, Tami
folks voluntarily seek counsel and guidance. When I see strained, chaotic interactions morph into calm, cooperative, and mutually supportive partnerships, well…it is one of the most joyous things I get to experience.
And if we are a family member or friend of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), maybe all the searching, seeking, confusion, and, well, love, has some deeper meaning than just simply suffering.
unabashedly, access our passion and love. We understand each other, we connect, we support and we love.