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Happy Thoughts and Borderline Personality Disorder

How does one go from anxious, depressed, suicidal, and tormented even…to healthy, happy and full of life and love?

What creates our moods? How can some people overcome adversity and others be swallowed up by life?

These are the questions I asked myself in the deepest throes of Borderline Personality Disorder. And the old adage, “when the student is ready, the teacher will appear,” ended up ringing true for me. When I was really, truly, ready to change my life, the answers did come.

If I’ve coached you, you've read most any of my writings, or you’ve heard me speak, you will know that I believe that taking control of your thoughts is one of the two most important parts of BPD Recovery. I even wrote a workbook on how to do it entitled, “Taking Control of Your Thoughts Workbook”!

Yet, this isn’t a new principle or something science recently discovered. Many ancient religions teach how to change our thoughts. However, scientists and even just regular people are now discovering the correlation between our thoughts and mental health. The concept of changing one’s thought processes is and has been referred to by many names such as: DBT, CBT, meditation, affirmations, law of attraction, mindfulness, renewing the mind.

Recently, I discovered there was even an old song written about it. The other day I was driving my son, Christian, home from school (what a happy thought!) His teacher had made him a CD of musical numbers to practice, and we were merrily listening to the selections when one really caught my attention. It’s entitled, “These are a Few of My Favorite Things.”  In this song Maria, the main character in “The Sound of Music” sings to remind herself to think on happy things when she is feeling sad.

One of my mentors, super-star life coach Martha Beck, recently gave her coaches another way to bring oneself out of the doldrums. She suggested that each of us keep a mental treasure chest full of our favorite things to think on whenever we need a boost. I love this exercise!  When you fill up your own treasure chest, make sure you put things in it that satisfy all your senses. For example, include your favorite food, scent, and thing to touch.

Maria included things such as raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens. I include memories of holding my newborn babies, red wine and dark chocolate, and snuggling up next to my husband and children.

By changing your thoughts you can change your mood, and your life. Now, you may be really, really good at thinking distressing thoughts. That means you need to practice thinking happier thoughts most of your day at first, but eventually you will get so good at it that you’ll just walk around with a smile on your face all the time!

So, feeling really blue? Well, then…you may need to put your feet up, light some candles and give yourself a long, well-deserved, happy thoughts vacation!

-Tami :-)

Others who wanted more on this subject ordered this book.