So What?

So...you've been diagnosed with a brain disorder, your partner has one, you are addicted to substances, you are having a bad hair day, your car is making a strange sound, you just really screwed something up, your favorite TV show just got canceled, your shoe just came untied...Lord, a lot can go wrong, can't it?

But...what if...everything was just as it was suppose to be?

Recently I was having a spa pedicure (number one in my arsenal of calming activities) when the local metro bus dropped off a young woman in a wheel chair.

She looked at me and smiled a big, bright, beautiful smile that really made my day.

But what was really different about her was that she seemed absolutely unaffected by the challenges her disorder brought into her life. Though she could not drive, or walk, and faced numerous other difficulties, she really did look "no worse for the wear", as they say.

On the contrary, looking good was obviously important to her. She had taken the time to expertly apply make-up, fix her hair, wear stylish clothes, and there she was, having her broken nail fixed and painted.

She had to make several calls to have the bus driver pick her back up, which she cheerfully completed. She enjoyed conversing with the lady doing her nails, she enjoyed the TV show on the screen, and was generally happy and content. I thought: "I would love to be her friend!" "So what that she can't walk, she is awesome. Actually, she is so impacting on her environment because of her disability. Wow!"

One day I truly was having a truly hideous hair day. The only solution was to just pin it back and away from my face. And then...no bobby pin was to be found. I had a choice: I could really stress out about the way I was going to be seen all day, get frustrated, lash out at someone close to me even. And then I just said to myself, "so what?"

"So what that my hair looks crazy. So what that I don't have a bobby pin. So what that I'm having to use a giant sized paper clip in my hair? So what? Life really is just fine."

My point is: everybody really does have something that is challenging. Things don't go right, we can't control all circumstances, we wish things were different. What we can control is our response to life and the way we view things.

Because I got ill with BPD, I met amazing people, learned new skills, started a new business, and found confidence and clarity I'd never known. Maybe all is just as it should have been, and if I could have just let go of the angst quicker, the blessings would have arrived that much sooner.

So, the next time you are tempted to talk yourself into inactivity or behavior you will regret later because things don't seem to be going your way: ask yourself about your situation..."so what?" "Really, so what?"

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